


Spider Lemon (In cerulean comic sans (dont ask))

by starspawnedwarlock



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Blow Jobs, Bulges and Nooks (Homestuck), Clawing, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Hand Jobs, Love Bites, Mindfang 8ite me plz, Sexual Tension, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-01-16 03:24:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18512917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starspawnedwarlock/pseuds/starspawnedwarlock
Summary: i am very bad when it comes to christmas gifts





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry

 You aren’t exactly sure why the tall woman across the tavern is staring at you, but it is definitely making you uncomfortable. On the rare glance you give over to the shaded corner, tentative and shy, you can see only the slightly illuminous eyes staring at you inquisitively. Over the quite chatter and clicking of tankards and wooden chairs, you can hear her long nails tapping away. During the quietest moments, when the sound is at its peak, you feel yourself tense up. After a few minutes of intense nerves and glancing, you fail to the urge to look over properly yourself. Chances are she has already noticed your glancing, right?

 Turning around to get a good look at her, you see a smile spread across her face, her teeth glinting off the lantern-light. Her sharp teeth are arranged in a smug smirk, as her head tilts ever so slightly. Just as you prepare to stand up and leave, now quite anxious for your own safety, the intensity of her tapping increases, spiralling up until she clats all of her nails down at once. Each of the cerulean painted claws, one by one, pull themselves from the wood they embedded themselves in, before she rises.

 You instinctively lean back as she approaches, emerging from the shade. First is her sword, shining and wickedly sharp, and acting as a walking stick of sorts. Slowly coming forward, you see her large heeled boot, black, with long blue lines leading up to form a spider at the knee. Taking the step, you see her fully, and your breath catches. Even if her face is still shadowed by the large tricorn hat she wears, you can recognize her.

 She wears a mix of a jacket and a dress, regal and fearsome both. Several layers of black jackets, splitting at the waist, lined with cerulean and having a corset like feature, cover her upper body. Her forearms are adorned with one thin layer of fabric, reaching up to hook around her middle finger. Extending from the back of her coat is a long trailing collection of fabrics, one thick black one, with many ruffles of dark pale blue.

 The jacket itself has a number of cerulean designs contained on it, one of which being her sign, beside two shoulder pauldrons and… You blush fiercely at the gap of fabric given by her coat, baring the smooth grey flesh and curves for any daring enough to see. She doesn’t miss your colouring, and her smile grows wider, two large fangs easily visible.

 The sign, in combination with the two large horns rising from her head, one hook and one pincer, cause your breath to quicken. As you furiously try to focus your gaze anywhere but at the legendary pirate queen, she arrives at your small table, elegantly setting herself down, crossing her legs and draping her arms over her knees. Fearing the fate that could await you, you bring your eyes up to meet those of the maniacal psychopath Marquise Spinneret Mindfang.

 You don’t move an inch for the tensest moments, as you stare at each other, unblinking. After a few dozen seconds the loud clinking of a tankard across the tavern sounds, and you jump, her smirk turns up, and the most melodically terrifying laugh you have ever heard comes from her mouth. As you sit terrified, she smoothly brings a hand up from her knee, pressing a finger to the tip of her tricorn, and slowly pushing it up to reveal her face proper. Sharp grey features bordered by swooping bangs greet you. Your eyes widen slightly seeing the razor sharp teeth illuminated even better now, and her cerulean lips go into an even more sinister smile. Her eyes are surrounded with blue, shaded and lined, giving the eight pupils an even more unsettling effect.

 As you stare, transfixed by her otherworldly and petrifying beauty, she reaches forward with a clawed hand, picking a sliver of meat from your plate. Bringing it close, she tilts her head back, dropping it into her open mouth, her eyes fixed on you. Her lips move melodically as she chews, and she regards you with interest. Swallowing the food, she extends a long blueish tongue, licking around her lips, spending a lingering moment trailing over a long and pointed fang.

 Seeming done with the innocuous waiting, the pirate begins to speak. Two nails tap along the table towards you as she does.

 “Hello little one. What brings you to this little trap?” Her nails stop inches from your side of the table, before dragging back, leaving a rivet in the wood.

 Before you can say anything, a pulse of cerulean spreads from her pupils, her left eye turning into a colour show.

 “Now that seems a most boring time indeed.”

 You twitch at the realisation of what she did, and how easily she can enter your mind. You blush even harder knowing that the thoughts you had were clearly visible to her. Another melodic laugh sounds, and the corsair queen leans forward, all four of her fingers clicking their way towards you. They stop just before you, and she brings her other hand to her face, trailing her nails around her lips.

 “You know, I have an idea that would be much more enjoyable for the parties involved, should you care for it?”

 She accompanies this with a wink, tilting her head ever so slightly. Your breath hitches, and she smirks once again.

 You open your mouth to reply, to deny. It’s dangerous. She’s a murderer. A crazed sword wielding fiend. But her eyes pulse blue, and she knows what you really want. She reaches out, taking your tankard. Tipping it back, she downs it all in one, setting the tankard back down as she drags her tongue around her lips.  

 Rising from the chair, she trails a long fingered hand around the table as she circles it, approaching you. Tensing up instinctively, you can only watch as she brings her hand around you, hovering an inch away from you. After circling you, she raises the hand, raising an eyebrow.

 Realising her wishes, you gingerly bring your hand up to hers, and shake slightly as you stand, holding her hands as the woman, over a foot taller than you, leads you away.

 The port is dark, illuminated by the sparse lanterns and faint moonlight from behind the clouds. You can hear the water splashing against the stone, and the creaking of ship masts in the wind. But above all that, is the clicking of the corsair’s boots as she marches elegantly along. There is no one else present, whether by her design or chance, you know not.

 You walk for a minute, going through small puddles and occasional creaking boards. Mindfang doesn’t pause once, until you reach the gangplank up to her ship. She is only halfway up when she stops, turns, and smiles down on you, a silhouette against the blue light cast from the ships lanterns.

 The pirate leans down, bringing your hand up to her mouth. She lays a delicate kiss upon it, before roughly pulling you up to her, letting the sudden momentum bring your lips to hers. Your eyes shoot open, shocked, before drooping lazily. It feels amazing. You feel yourself go weak, and bring up your arm, desperate to pull her closer, to be nearer to the goddess kissing you. But she pulls away.

 You look up to her, pleading, but she only grins in reply, her teeth and calculating eyes the only things visible against her shadowed face. Drawing her tongue around her lips, she begins to walk backwards, still gently holding your hand. You walk up obediently, enthralled by the captivating aura of the spider.

 She leads you to the back of the deck, through an ornately designs and carved door, laden with jewels and metals. With a click, it opens, and the woman walks inside, you led behind. You are brought into a large room, lit by a collection of candles. And by collection, you mean hundreds. They litter the room, hanging from the ceiling, covering entire surfaces. The most opulent surround a single table, lighting the rich felt that is draped over it.

 Following without a word, you let her sit you down on the only chair, upholstered with fine cushions, all blue, as you expect. She smiles at you once more, trailing her hand delicately down the side of your face. You stare up at her apprehensively, not sure what do to or say. Sensing your confusion, she turns around, gently releasing your hands. She rolls her shoulders back as she pulls of the outermost layer of her repertoire. She lets it hang form her upper arms, and tilts her head back ever so slightly.

 Taking the cue, you reach up, easing it from her powerful shoulders. Underneath this layer is something less modest, but just as fanciful. The main piece doesn’t go over her shoulders, revealing her toned upper arms, covered in scarce scars and remnants of old lacerations. Your fingers tremble slightly, brushing against the ancient wounds, probably older than most of the lowbloods on the port. She hums as the coat falls, and turns, taking it from you to hang form a stand by the door. Waiting, you watch as she returns. She lets you undo the lace holding her corset tight, and she breathes a sigh of relief as it loosens.

 She faces you, now only in a loose hanging garment, but her boots and gloves still on, and her hat perched upon her head. She reaches down, grabbing you by the collar. She pulls you up, and leans down to kiss you. You waste no time in putting your arms around her neck this time, lifting yourself up to press your lips harder against hers. You feel her smile against you, before she lifts you entirely, her impressive strength making it need no effort at all.

 She places you delicately down upon the table, before resting her hands on your hips, and pulling you against her, still kissing you. The sounds of your lips and hers fills the cabin for a minute or so, before you jump slightly, feeling a sharp pain in you lip. You pull away slightly, and find the pirate with her shark smile once again, one of her fangs bloodied. You are aware of a thin line of blood moving down to your chin.

 Before you can say anything, she moves forward again, dragging her tongue along your face, wiping away the blood. You shiver at the touch, your breathing heavy. As she returns to your mouth, she pushes in with her tongue, her hands moving up to hold either side of your neck. You barely twitch as she nicks your lips again, and nearly welcome the pain, your every hair standing on end.

 The wet sounds are all you hear as she continues, moving your head as she wishes. You can’t help but notice how cold she is, from the beck your arms are strung around, to the long, rough tongue embedded in your mouth. But while you are in the depths of your euphoria, she pulls away, letting her tongue linger a moment before retreating into her mouth.

 The goddess brings up one of her hands to stroke the side of your face, calming you. As her fingers rest at the top of your check, she arches them, pressing nails against your wet skin. Her wicked smile returns, her eyes filled with a lust, as she tows her nails down, leaving four long cut as you shake, holding onto her shoulders tightly. At last the lines are drawn, and the blood begins to seep from the wounds, the warmth contrasting the coldness of her grey palm.

 But the heat leaves, as she moves your head to her mouth, taking away a swath of the blood with her tongue. You pull her as close as you can, relishing in the feeling of the cerulean pressed against your cheek. You feel her hands moving faster now, pulling your clothes away. She returns to your mouth, and all that remains on your torso is a thin shirt, which she wastes no time in tearing through with her claws. He slides her hands up over your chest, letting them rest at your shoulders. Her right hands snakes up into your hair, tugging lightly for you to bend your neck.

 You quiver slightly as she brings her mouth closer to you, opening it to reveal her line of sharpened teeth, the four canines glinting harshly with the lamp light above you. She rubs her face against yours once, then drops down, her fangs quickly penetrating through the skin as she bites down on your neck.

 You breathe faster as you feel the blood flowing from your neck, into her drilling tongue and dripping down onto your shoulders. The pirate holds you tighter, bringing her left arm around your torso. You can’t help but release a partially pained, partially lustful moan. She grinds against you without hesitation, moaning herself into your bloodied neck.

 Retreating her hand from your hair, and moving away from your crimson neck, she brought it to her shirt, letting the claw slice through the fabric, splitting to reveal her body.

 You admire her in awe. Her skin would have been perfectly smooth, toned and pristine, were it not for a multitude of scars covering it, adding to the razor sharp beauty of the corsair queen.

 You slide your hands from behind her, down to her hips, and began sliding them up. You feel the rise of each scar, memories made flesh. Your hands move over the blue bumps on her sides, going up to her ribs. She settles each of her hands on your thighs, and leans forward to plant a bloodied kiss on your forehead. She smiles against your head as you reach her breasts, small, with blue nipples topping each. One is misshaped, with a scar running down the side.

 You bring your palms over them as Mindfang puts her chin atop your head. They are as cold as the rest of her, and she hums delightedly as you bring warmth to them. You feel her place a hand behind your neck, and delicately drags her other to your waist. She licks once more at the blood seeping from your cheek, before her hand slides into your bottoms. You gasp as she clutches, and your breathing becomes heavy near instantly. You grip your hands hard into the sides of her chest, although she doesn’t seem to notice.

 You hear her quiet, vexing laugh from above, as she begins to move her hand, causing you to shake and moan. You can feel her nails scraping slightly against you as she works, but not enough to harm. There is few, far too short, minutes of quickened breaths, moans, and contented sighs, before you finish messily onto her hand.

 Her hand slowly comes to stop, and she leans back. You look up at Mindfang somewhat fearfully, not sure what her reaction would be. Despite anything that you expected, she smiles, and kisses you. You feel oddly exhausted as she slides her arms under you, lifting you from the table with ease. You hold yourself close to her, shivering against her cold flesh.

 You hear the creaking of the large ship as she carries you off, making her way to the massive cerulean sheeted bed in the centre of her room. She lays you down gently, sitting you up as she places herself behind you.

 You find yourself surrounded by her, your back pressing against her chest, and her legs circled around you. She wraps an arm around you, under one arm and grabbing the shoulder of the other. You feel her other hand between you, moving down to attend to herself. She chuckles quietly, nuzzling your head, and laying kisses and licks along your neck.

 Despite her sharp teeth, toned muscles, psychopathy and apathy, and the countless swords scattered about the room, you feel safe. 

 “I think I’ll keep you.” She laughs to herself.


	2. THERE WAS ONLY SUPPOSED TO BE ONE CHAPTER OOPS?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fuckin... bulges man

You awake in the early morning, the ship already at sea, the light blocked from entering the room through the dark blue curtains over the windows. You feel warm under the thick covers of the bed, the several layers placed delicately over you. Pulling these covers back, you look around the room. The dark wood of the ship is mostly covered by some manner of cerulean fabric, either a banner, curtain or some other decoration. 

 Sitting up, you let the sheets slip off entirely, and find yourself naked. Looking around, you see your clothes lying scattered around a table a few feet from the bed, and you begin to remember last night's encounter. After returning to the bed and dealing with her own needs, using her hands and occasionally grinding up against your back, she had finished with a long and pleased sigh. You had felt the wet up against your back. She then laid you down gently onto the bed, and pressed up behind you, trailing her hands down your face until you drifted off to sleep in her arms.

 You get up from the bed and walk towards the table. Without much ceremony you put on the trousers you had discarded by the bed. Looking around at the clothes on the wooden planks of the floor, you sit down on one of the two chairs around the table. Seeing your torn shirt, you take a deep breath, remembering how she tore it from your chest, grabbed your head and...

 The door to the cabin opens, and you jerk up. You watch as the captain slowly walks in, accompanied by a cold, salty breeze from the sea outside. You instinctively bring your arms up to your sides. 

 She is wearing her hat and coat again, although you can see through the open coat that she is wearing but a thin shirt and breeches underneath. She must have just thrown the coat over her shoulders to leave the cabin. The toned shoulders you had lifted the coat from the night before. She raises a sharp eyebrow over her multi-pupiled eye at the sight of you in the chair. After a second her eyes narrow cunnigly, and she catches her lip with a fang, holding it back for a tantalising second.

 You can't help but hold your breath in anticipation as Mindfang sits on the chair opposite yours, sighing in relief. She looks up to you with a lascivious glint in her eyes, and a slight tug at the edge of her mouth. She tips her hat up to look at you as she slowly parts her legs, her knees bent so that her boots are pressed against the floor. She raises an arm, and gestures you toward her with a curling finger.

 Although you don't feel her fingers in your mind, you feel compelled to obey, so you step forward. Leaning towards you, she places a hand on your shoulder, gazing into your eyes with her bewitching stare. With a grin and incredible strength, she pushes you down to your knees. Your breathing begins to get heavy as your knees land on the wooden floor, as you look up at the pirate before you, her coat hanging loosely open to each side, and a fanged smile across her face.

 She tilts her head and leans back as her hands slide their way to the top of her breeches. Her fingers work dexterously on the knotted cord, before she loosens it, and begins to pull down the fabric. Your fists clench tight as you see her slow hands pulling it down. You feel your arousal growing at your crotch, spiking as a blue shape began to uncurl itself from beneath her pants. 

 The long blue appendage slowly unfurled itself in front of you, hovering a few inches away from your face. You can see it in great detail from where you sit, the completely smooth cerulean flesh, covered in blue tinted fluid that dripped down to the floor in front of you. It twitches upwards, and you can see two long furrows running from the thin, rounded tip to the thicker, darker base. Alongside these furrows are two lines of small holes, from which a more intense and viscous blue fluid dripped. It twitched again, and you feel your breath catch. 

 Glancing up, you catch Mindfang watching you with pleasant interest, observing your next actions, one arm resting on the side of the chair, the other playing with her lip. You look back down to the tentacle, the end curling up. You begin to shuffle forward on your knees, until the blue length is only an inch away, still curled. You place a tentative hand on each of the pirate's thighs. 

 Your breath stops as the tentacles moves out, caressing your cheek in a delicate, wet movement. You look up to Marquise once again, and find her biting her lip. Taking the cue, you lick your lips, before leaning forward and opening your mouth. You see through half closed eyelids the tentacle slide against you lips, your top first, then your bottom, as the blue appendage slips into your mouth. The liquid covering it tastes sweet, and you can't help but lean forward more, taking more of the length into your mouth. You feel it pressing against you tongue, each of the holes dragging along, leaving the thicker fluid, sweeter than the rest still. 

 Your hands squeeze on the pirate's thighs, and you hear her chuckle above the wet sounds of the tentacle moving in your mouth. It twitches every few seconds, and a bit more of the delicious fluid drips from the holes in the bottom. You take a bit more in, feeling the smooth surface of the tentacle as it brushes past you lips. It's gotten thicker at this point, pushing back your lips. You feel it begin to press against the back of your throat as you move forward, the tip curling once again. 

 You pull back slightly, before sliding down again, taking more of it into your mouth, as the end begins to push down your throat. It twitches again and you have to try not to gag on the tentacle spilling into fluid into your mouth. You can feel its smooth surface rubbing against your tongue, as sighs came from above you. You pull back again, and try to take it deeper. You almost gag, and have to take your mouth away. 

 Instead, you bring your hand from her thigh, and lightly grasp onto the base of the tentacle. Moving it slightly elicits a pleasured sigh from Mindfang's blue lips, as she tilted her head back. You give it a light squeeze, and you see and hear her have asharp intake of breath, as her chest rises up. Taking the encouragement, you squeeze it again, and pull your hand upwards along her bulge. Her breath catches, and her back arches and you could swear you hear a growl from her throat. 

 You move your hand up and down her bulge, keeping your tightened grip, sometimes clenching harder, sometimes lighter, and watching her expression change with each movement. She has bitten her lip open now, cerulean blood dripping down her chin, some of it landing on your hand, or the bulge it massaged. Keeping pressure on it with the end of your thumb and finger, you drag two of your fingers along the underside, feeling it take up the thicker fluid as she groaned. 

 You feel her watching as you bring the blue laden fingers to your mouth, and place the fluid onto your tongue. You swallow, the taste brilliant on your tongue. You reach back out again, your hand grasping the base of the blue tentacle, twitching and swirling more now that it has been stimulated. You feel a hand slide up behind your head, grasping your hair. Mindfang guides you closer to the bulge, and keeps you moving forward as the blue length slips into your mouth again, deeper and deepr, until it is filling your throat. She pushes you farhter down, moans beginning to come from her. 

 The tentacle twitches madly in your throat, and the blue is seeping from the pores steadily. Looking up, you see pure bliss on the face of the pirate, as a hand sneaks its way up her shirt, grasping her breast in her pleasure. You see her fangs glinting in the light, her tongue sneaking out to lick away the blood. 

 Mindfang pushes you farther down, and you close yor lips at the base. At last a moan escapes her lips. She pulls you back, and you can feel the blue tentacle curling as it leaves, before you are pushed gently back onto down the base. You hear the wet sounds of the bulge going into and leaving your mouth repeatedly, the delicious fluid dripping from the tentacle to pool in your mouth, some dripping down into you chin. 

 She is gasping now, and moaning as your lips slide up and down her bulge. Her grip grows tigther in your hair, and her pulls become more desperate, until the tentacle is squirming in your mouth ,ready to release.

 She cums with a great moan, bucking her hips right into you, the bulge being stuffed down your throat. Blue liquid spills from the holes in the underside, filling up your throat and mouth. You pulled away, Mindfang releasing her grip of you head. You cough out some of the fluid, the taste stronger than ever. 

 Your still recovering when Mindfang is on you again, pushing your shoulder down flat you the floor. She brings her flace close to yours, her long tongue pushes into your mouth, running across the cum already in your mouth. She moans into you, before leaning back, her fluid still on her tongue as she retracts it into her own mouth.

 She smiles down at you as you feel her bulge worming its way into your breeches, and you moan as it suddenly finds its way.

**Author's Note:**

> im so fucking sorry


End file.
